Thoughts on Season 15 Episode 4: T.M.I

INTRO BLAH


I was playing Monopoly the other day and, as is typical in Monopoly and is the dang point of the game, my friend bought one of the dark oranges when I had the other two. He did it on purpose because he knew I wanted it but I of course took it as a sign that he did that to spite me. I spent a large portion of the rest of the game making offers for that property, which were continuously turned down, and trying to screw him over. I ended up being the first one to go bankrupt because I had closed my focus from everything else going on in the damn game.

Take what you will from TMI but people, especially us male-types, can be pretty R-tarded about what we get angry about. And being self-conscious about wieners plays 86% of that, FACT. Now Monopoly doesn't compare to the extermination of the Jews, or the KKK, or Mao Zedong; but it comes pretty damn close...maybe.


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T.M.I

So I'm pretty sure Newton's 7th Law of Physics states that every man is obsessed with comparing dick sizes. As an Asian man, even with a faithful girlfriend, I am constantly paranoid that every woman in the world looks at me and thinks that because of my brown skin my wang must be a small thang. This episode brought up a semi-frequent recurring topic in South Park that guys, especially Cartman, are obsessed with penis sizes. The kids at school mistake a poster that posts height-differences for a poster highlighting penis sizes. Cartman then goes on to independently measure everyone's penis sizes for verification purposes. This part of the show had probably everybody's favorite recurring South Park meam: when Butters pees he takes off his whole pants and lifts up his shirt.

Just thinking about that makes me smile. Aaah. I have a story about that but that's for another time. Please feel free to ask me about that story over a beer. Anyhoo, I guess there's not much more to this episode. The only thing I really wanted to point out is the loser Miami Heat fan. I'm really excited, as everyone should be, to go to Miami but I'm afraid that every guy there will be exactly like that loser Miami Heat fan and every girl is going to be like Snooki.

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Well for all of you who are worried about dick sizes you can rest assured that it's all in your head; see the link of interest. Is that good enough for any of us? HELL NO

link of interest: Ask Men About Schnitzel Sizes

Thoughts on Season 15 Episode 3: Royal Pudding

Intro Blah

I recently finished reading the last book in the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. The final chapter concludes with an open-ending and then there's an author's note. In it King asks the readers not to be upset that the ending is an open-ender because the true reason to read the books should be for the journey, not just for how it ends. I was thinking about this because while I was watching episode 2 last week I realized I missed the adventure South Park episodes. You know, where the boys get obsessed with Lord of the Rings; where the boys join the Super Fun Club to save that one black guy who was on the show; where the boys go to Canada to save Ike and Christmas.

The episodes that are all about the message at the end (i.e. Funny Bot) are all good fun but nothing beats a good journey where you get reacquainted with your favorite characters and their flaws and passions. A heartedly-welcomed episode, nah mean?



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Royal Pudding


Did you know Royal Pudding is a real brand of pudding? Hmm. Anyway, who smelled a Royal Wedding episode a mile before it aired today? I DID! Woop woop. Which brings me to a quick segway, I'm planning a post to talk about what topics I think will be coming up in the rest of the season. Do any of y'all have any predictions? Please comment!

Hooray for Ike coming back. Bro, I love Ike. The whole, "I pooped my pants!" He used to do? Awesome. I usually don't like it when he actually talks but this episode wasn't too bad. And they brought back all our favorite Candians, Scott The Dick and Ugly Bob...I guess that's pretty much it but South Park making fun of Canada is awesome-adian. I'd be lying if my current lesser view of Canada isn't at least 65% because of South Park. The show always has them talking differently and just being so oblivious it's hilarious. And they love random things like Craft Dinners. My favorite line in this season so far is when the Prime Minister summons all the Candians to the field where there's a giant bowl of Craft macaroni to attract Giant Scott the Dick and when he comes he says, "Fee Fye Fo Fum, I love Craft dinner". I was actually hoping this episode would be a Mario-spoof. In the royal wedding spoofs ("and this certainly is not part of tradition) they showed the Nova Scotian "toad-people" as Toad characters from the Mario games. And then the Tooth Decay monster kind of looked like a giant Bowser. But alas, it twas naught but a quick reference.

The other part of the episode was the whole deal about tooth decay. Mr. Mackey was directing a children's play of the importance of fighting tooth decay and he takes it really seriously. He starts swearing and shouting at the kids. I don't know if this is a reference to anything but I thought it was funny. I remember when I was a wee-lad in the school plays and the director-moms would be taking the whole thing way too seriously. It was HI-larious then and it's HI-larious now. I think the general thing with South Park episodes is making fun of adults who take things way too seriously. Which describes anyone involved in theater at all, nah mean?

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So I hope you agree with me when I say the journey of this episode was A-WE-some. It's been a while since we went to Canada for anything but farts or queefs. But we went there, came back, and now we all feel cleaner because of it. And, as always, I'm not your buddy

By the way, to this day, whenever I'm introduced to a Scott I always respond with "That's Scott, he's a dick." Never gets old! Or maybe it does